Res Populis

The Postert System

In Articles, Satire on December 8, 2011 at 4:25 pm

Sun not at the centre of the Solar System

“Earth Does Not Revolve Around Sun” claim scientists

The discovery of a new planet in our Solar System has challenged and, if the claims of some scientists are to be believed, made obsolete our Copernican model of a heliocentric system.

“It is a Copernican revolution in its own right”, claims one of the scientist working on the TRAC-E project, “not only does it challenge the understanding we had of our own Solar System, but possibly that of our whole Universe.”

The planet, called Postert, is actually found on Earth, and was in fact taking part in the Occupy protests just a few weeks ago.

“This is what makes the paradox interesting”, another scientist explains, “and is precisely the reason why we could not see the planet before. Instead of being out there, in space, where we usually look for planets, this one was just here among us, eating noodles and protesting in the midst of us as if it were a normal person.”

But Postert is anything but a normal person. The new planet, as big as a trillion Egos, has a gravity pull much stronger than the Sun’s.

“The implications are enormous, and bound to change the way we think about Life.”

The "new" Solar System

In this diagram, Postert is represented as a huge self-centred blob of egoism.

The discovery, which puts Postert just at the centre of our Solar System, replacing the Sun, previously and erroneously thought to be the central body, means that the Earth does not revolve around the Sun, but rather around Postert.

The name of the planet is, strangely, both an anagram of “Protest” and a portmanteau for “Post-Earth”. (Take our Poll here!)

Some scientists are taking the claims even further, suggesting that Postert is actually at the centre of the Universe.

See related articles:

Ex-Occupier now holds Wall Street job

Let’s All Go To Zuccotti Park

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