Res Populis

The Magic of Miss Taylor

In Articles, Satire on December 17, 2011 at 4:37 pm

‘Tis a time of austerity, all governments in the world are saying.

A time for us to tighten our belt and not spend money on trivial things.

And that is why a major South Korean retail group has just acquired Elizabeth Taylor’s diamond for a dazzling $8.8 million, whereas her pearl known as “La Peregrina”  sold at a staggering $11.84 million.

The special powers attributed to the diamond make this a truly wise acquisition.

The diamond is said to heal the sick, feed the hungry, help the poor and, if rubbed correctly, bring World Peace.

What a nice prospect for Christmas.

You can listen to the witch doctor speak about the magic of Elizabeth Taylor in this video.

As for the pearl, it is said to bring great happiness to its owner, though it does so at the expense of others’ happiness, sucking happiness in a sort of vortex which is then used to generate and replenish the owner’s. That is why it is important for it to not fall in the wrong hands.

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